Hi all,
After a long hiatus, I’ve decided to dust off the blog based on the events which have happened in the last week.
If you don’t know, I was lucky enough to win a lottery through work to run the Boston Marathon. As someone who is nowhere close to a qualifying time, this seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. In my age group, I would need to run a 3:30 marathon, which is almost an hour and a half faster than my current best.
I want to clarify before I get further into this post – I do not disagree with large events (including marathons) being postponed for everyone’s safety. It is the smartest, and safest thing for everyone and I’m glad the B.A.A. acted quickly and did not leave us in the dark leading up to race day. This post is intended to express some feelings, and maybe give a new perspective.
I have gone through a rollercoaster of emotions in the last week. At the beginning of the week, I was of the opinion that it would be business as usual for the race. As the week progressed, I began to have my doubts. By Wednesday, when the US announced the Europe travel ban, I was certain the race would not be happening in April. On Thursday, I arrived home from work to find mail from the B.A.A. which said “You’re in – you’re running the Boston Marathon”. I checked my phone after opening this and saw the news stories saying that the race would be postponed without a certain date for when they would reschedule. This broke me.
The dates speculated happened to fall in the middle of what was supposed to be my honeymoon. I didn’t want to have to choose between what is sure to be an amazing trip (we were going to hike the Tour du Mont Blanc) and a bucket list dream race. My fiancĂ© went through great lengths to get us business class flights and had done an excellent job planning the trip. I didn’t want to make him choose. I didn’t want to selfishly change everything. I felt guilty.
On Friday, they announced the official date. Thankfully, it’s a week later than the speculated date and we may be able to salvage our planned trip with some adjustments. It felt much better knowing that there was a new date, and that the race was not cancelled outright.
This is not the only race which has been moved or cancelled recently and I’m sure it will only get worse before it gets better. This one is the race though. It’s the gold standard for runners, the holy grail. It’s the dream. It’s what many people strive to qualify for through years of dedicated running, training and planning.
There were many reactions to races being cancelled. Many are thankful that they don’t have to choose between their health and their hobby. Some are angry that things were cancelled at the last minute. There’s one reaction that really struck me though: “It’s just a race”.
It’s not just a race. It’s months of dedicated training. It’s believing you’re going to achieve one of your biggest life goals (which seemed unachievable). It’s dragging yourself out of bed early on a Saturday morning when it’s snowing and cold outside to get out for your 3 hour run. It’s making social sacrifices knowing that you need to run and keeping enough time open in your schedule. It’s persevering through the ups and downs of training, and forging on even when you don’t feel like it.
It’s not just a race. It’s a lifestyle. The race is the victory lap for months of blood, sweat and tears. It’s believing you’re going to hit a goal, and then coming to terms that it won’t happen, not yet anyways.
For those non-runners who may be reading this, picture your wildest dream. Now imagine you are given the opportunity to actually do it. A month before you are supposed to do it, you are told you can’t. This is what many of us are feeling right now.
For those runners who are in the same boat, give yourself time to feel upset. You are allowed. It’s a pretty big disappointment, but remember that this is ultimately for the best. You will get to run again – it just sucks right now. Be thankful that we are not putting ourselves or anyone else at risk.
I’m not sure this will help anyone else, but putting some thoughts down about how I’ve been feeling is a relief. I know it’s a small problem to have when there’s much more terrible things happening in the world and I don’t want to undermine that. “Boohoo, I can’t run my race”. I just want runners to know that it’s ok to feel upset, and for anyone who may know someone going through this, just be supportive. Give your friend time to feel upset. Also know that ultimately, everything is going to work out. Your dreams will still be there, and you can keep chasing them. Know that I’ll still be chasing mine. On September 14th, 2020 I will be crossing that damn finish line.